Retiring on your own?
Taking control of your retirement plans
When we conduct retirement seminars, most of our audience are married couples. In fact, much of the planning programs and articles picture a traditional couple enjoying their retirement activities and sailing off into the sunset together. It would be easy to just do a presentation that would apply to the majority of the audience and hope that the singles in the group would simply take out the information that would apply to them and ignore the rest.
At the end of one of my sessions, I was approached by Margaret and Janice. Both women were in their fifties; Margaret had been widowed several years ago while her friend Janice had been divorced for the past five years. “What advice do you have for those of us who are going into retirement on our own?” Janice asked me. “What are some of the challenges that we will face that couples won’t have to deal with?”
The transition into retirement can be a trying time for most people whether they are in a relationship or on their own. Many retirement plans assume that couples will engage in new activities or enjoy exciting travel and that together they can build a future after work. Yet, Statistics Canada tells us that 30% of Canadian boomers are single and 60% of all Canadian women over age 65 are single, widowed or divorced.
There are few tips or information available for singles facing retirement without a partner. The few that I have come across in my own research concentrate on how singles can avoid “the loneliness of retirement” as if being single and retiring was a double dose of bad luck!
In fact, I know a lot of couples entering retirement very much on their own. They don’t share the same views on what they are going to do, they may be dealing with competing goals or perhaps one partner is suffering an identity crisis.
To assume that all singles encounter problems in retirement and that all couples are happy is an overgeneralization. I see a number of issues that all retirees will have to face that will apply equally to both groups.
However, there is one area where many singles are at a disadvantage as they enter retirement: their financial situation may not be as healthy as a couple with two savings plans, two company pensions etc. Also, no life insurance policies to provide an extra cushion in later life.
I recognize that it is tough for two people to live as cheaply as one, though I find many singles in retirement spending more on travel, entertainment and hobbies as a way to enjoy their time or develop new relationships or interests.
I think that many couples in retirement can actually learn something from successful singles who are doing very well in their transition. Here are some of the keys to a successful retirement for singles:
1. Keep working. Many singles opt to stay in the workplace for as long as possible. Additional income, pension benefits and other employee benefits are just some of the financial reasons. This is not only a good thing to consider financially, but from a retirement lifestyle perspective it also makes good sense. Workplace relationships are very important in providing a social network that can be sustained into retirement. Longevity studies also suggest that the longer you work at something you enjoy, the more positive the effects on your longevity. Too often I see people give up their work at the behest of a spouse or partner and end up being miserable. When you are single, you are making your own decisions!
2. Develop a robust social network. When you are single, you are more likely to develop and sustain friendships than if you are married. In retirement, a nurturing and supportive social network is a key to success and most single retirees are aware of the need to develop “surrogate families” or close personal friendships that will provide many of the same comforts as a married relationship. By the way, if you are so inclined be open to new relationships! You never know when you will meet someone special who might want to share your retirement with you. For some singles, this is very important—others are quite comfortable living life on their own and not wanting to enter into a relationship. The nice thing about singles retirement is that it is entirely your choice.
3. Be a “self starter”. In retirement, self-directed people tend to do better than “other-directed” people. The ability to take control of your life, make decisions and plans on your own because you have to, and look to your inner strength to manoeuvre through life’s challenges and opportunities are important keys to retirement success. The New England Centenarian study shed some light on the importance of taking control in later years. In that study published in 2007, researchers found that an abnormally high number of women who lived past the age of one-hundred had never been married! This isn’t an indictment on marriage, but a testimony to the fact that if you make it to one-hundred and you have never been married, you had to be a self-starter for a lot of years!
4. Be a life-long learner and explorer. Since this is your own retirement and you don’t necessarily have to share it unless you want to, you can use some of your time to expand your mind. Is there a course that you always wanted to take? This is your chance to go back to school and learn about something that has always interested you. How about a trip that you have long dreamt of? The nice thing about travel for singles is that there are so many possibilities that are designed specifically for someone on their own who would like the support of a group but the freedom of independence. A friend of mine recently returned from a women’s only trekking adventure to Everest base camp. Most cruise lines have single-friendly cruises also. You can combine travel with socialization and you don’t have to feel uneasy or out-of-place.
5. Remember the principles of healthy aging. We already know that women generally live longer than men and that overall health of women retirees is higher than their male counterparts. While both need to pay attention to their health, it is also important for singles of both sexes to remember that healthy aging is as much a mental issue as it is a physical challenge. Retirement success is a lot about attitude. If you are happy with your situation as a single retired person, or have learned to deal with it you will enjoy a more successful retirement. If not, stress and depression can undo your best efforts to live a healthy physical life.
Finally, a large number of Canadian singles in retirement didn’t start out that way. Whether they have lost their spouse through divorce or bereavement, the fact is that many new singles had other retirement plans that they were going to share.
I am convinced that all couples should conduct a ‘fire drill’ when they make their retirement plans. That involves a frank “what if?” discussion that would address the possibility of the “best laid plans’ going astray. Suddenly single is tough enough on both your physical and mental health that it is worth at least considering what you might do if you found yourself in that situation.
At the very least, satisfy yourself that if you had to take over the family finances tomorrow, you could do so with little stress.